


Meet Me In The Afterglow

by Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97



Category: Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Inspired by Taylor Swift, Platonic Relationships, Season 2 Finale Fix-It, Song Lyrics, Song: Afterglow (Taylor Swift), Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:41:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24718444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97/pseuds/Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97
Summary: "Hey, It's all me, in my head, I'm the one who burned us down, But it's not what I meant, I'm sorry that I hurt you, I don't wanna do, I don't wanna do this to you, I don't wanna lose, I don't wanna lose this with you, I need to say, hey, It's all me, just don't go... Meet me in the afterglow"The battle was over, the enemy was dead. But what remained was a broken family and Dick was left to pick up the pieces.Season 2 Finale Fix-it AU. Two conversations that should have happened but didn't.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Donna Troy, Dick Grayson & Rachel Roth, Dick Grayson & Raven
Comments: 2
Kudos: 52





	Meet Me In The Afterglow

**Author's Note:**

> Me? Writing yet ANOTHER s2 fix-it, focusing on the relationships between Dick & Rachel and Dick & Donna??? Putting too much fluff and angst into it??? AAAND connecting it to Taylor Swift lyrics???  
> It's more likely than you think.  
> This story completely wasn't planned. But I was listening to this song yesterday and it just hit me, y'know? And I absolutely had to let it out.  
> Hope you enjoy and make sure to check out the song.

**_I blew things out of proportion, now you're blue_ **

**_Put you in jail for something you didn't do_ **

**_I pinned your hands behind your back, oh_ **

**_Thought I had reason to attack, but no_ **

**_Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves_ **

**_Chemistry 'til it blows up, 'til there's no us_ **

**_Why'd I have to break what I love so much?_ **

**_It's on your face, and I'm to blame, I need to say_ **

***

It's honestly a miracle that Donna survived. She wouldn't have if it wasn't for Conner, who upon noticing what's happening sped up to her and pushed her from under the transmission tower, taking all its heavy weight on his own shoulders. The electricity didn't do much to him, only burning few holes in the material of his t-shirt.

Donna wasn't this lucky. Thanks to her Amazonian genes the electrocution didn't kill her, but it still send her unconcious, leaving burns scattered across her body. Her hands were in the worst condition, having been in direct contact with the electric construction, but with some meds and her advanced healing she should be fine.

But first she needed to wake up.

As soon as the team was back at the Tower, they rushed Donna into the infirmary. Dick found himself standing helplessly in the doorway, watching Dawn working quickly, setting up an iv and connecting all devices that could monitor all the life functions - her brain activity, blood oxygen levels, heart rate and other things Dick didn't fully understand. Out of everyone on the team Dawn has been the closest to a medical expert, with Hank falling close behind.

Dick set his eyes on him now, watching as the man applied a soothing ointment to Donna's palms and wrapped them carefully in bandages.

Dick wanted to help but Dawn gently yet firmly told him to stay out of it, because they needed to be quick and he'd only be in the way. Deep down he knew she was right. It's not like he's completely green when it comes to this stuff, he had medical training pushed into his brain both by Bruce and Gotham Police Academy. But right now, with his staggered breath and hands shaking like leaves on the wind, he would be in no use to them.

So he stood there, waiting. His heart was hammering inside his ribcage, trying to break out. His mind kept whispering worst case scenarios to his ear and he couldn't help but glance anxiously at the heart rate monitor every few seconds, making sure it's not flatlining. But Donna's heartbeat was growing strong and steady, the soft beeping sound of the machine soothing his shaken nerves.

When all was done, the three Titans looked at each other and released a sigh of relief in unison. But then silence filled the room, growing heavier with each second, as they all started to remember the events of the past few days and what led them here. Dick was the first one to look away, letting his head fall down, shoulders heavy with shame and guilt. Yes, maybe Slade was gone and CADMUS backed away for now at least, but it didn't erase what happened before.

The battle was over, the enemy was dead. But what remained was a broken family and Dick was left to pick up the pieces.

But was it even possible, since he had been the one to shatter them in the first place?

He wanted to say something, he really did, but before he had the chance, Hank stormed out of the room without sparing him even a glance, announcing that he needed a drink. Dawn sighed heavily and shook her head in what looked like disappointment, then walked up to him and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"She'll be fine." she whispered, a warm smile tugging at her lips. "Should wake up soon."

"Thank you, Dawn." he nodded. "Listen, I-"

"We can talk about this tomorrow." she interrupted him. Her smile didn't falter, but for a moment her eyes became hard as steel. "Now get some rest."

She moved past him and he turned around trying to stop her, but then he caught a glimpse of Kory in the hallway. She stood between Gar and Rachel with her arms wrapped around their shoulders. The three of them stared at him with concern written all over their faces and Dick realized they must have been there this whole time. He quickly sized them up, searching for injuries, but found none. Rachel seemed tired, leaning heavily on Kory and struggling to keep her head up. Gar stood straight, Kory's hand on his shoulder keeping him grounded but he was extremely pale. Dick could only pray that what CADMUS had done to him didn't leave any permanent side effects. A lump rose suddenly in his throat and he tried to gulp it down. Leaving the kid alone in here was another thing he could put on the list of his never ending screw ups and mistakes.

He locked eyes with Kory, wordlessly trying to tell her that he's fine and they don't need to worry. She seemed to understand his intention because she nodded slowly after a moment and ushered the kids to go in a hushed voice. Gar complied without a word and started walking away, but Rachel hesitated. She stood still when Kory gently pulled at her arm and whispered her name. Her blue eyes, wide and filled with tears were glued to his face and her lips were quivering. The sight broke his heart and the heavy weight of guilt came back to him, threatening to crush him. She was his responsibility. He was supposed to take care of her, he made her a promise that he would, and yet he didn't even notice that she had been struggling, being too caught up in his own mess. He had failed her again.

At third attempt Rachel finally gave in, biting her bottom lip and nodding. Kory guided her to her room, keeping a comforting hand on her back. When they vanished behind the corner Dick released a breath he didn't know he was holding. He had to make sure to check on her later. 

He retreated back to the room and closed the door, then slumped into a chair standing next to the bed. Time seemed to slow down, then stop all together. He switched between holding Donna's hand, reading the monitors and pacing back and forth across the room, but the first hour felt like eternity. At some point he realized he was still in his suit so he made a quick trip to his bedroom to change and shower. Now, in fresh, more comfortable sweatpants and a t-shirt, he sat back down in his chair, carefully took her hand in his and continued his vigil. 

As much as he wanted her to wake up, he also dreaded it. Last time they saw each other, they weren't exactly on good terms. They've had their fair share of fights in over a decade of their friendship, but this was way worse. He had lied to her and kept the lie going for years. It was a complete violation of trust, a betrayal rooted so deep he's not sure if they'll be able to get back from it.

She had been by his side for years. Through thick and thin, his biggest mistakes and greatest victories. He had also seen her at her lowest and highest point. They've always had each other's back. But now? Did he just lost the one constant good thing in his life forever?

He's been so deep in his thoughts he flinched when he felt her fingers twitch in his hand. He glanced at her face - Donna was turning her head to the sides, murmuring incoherently. Dick leaned over her and gently squeezed her hand, wary of her burns, while laying his other hand on her shoulder.

"Donna?" he said in low, hushed voice, careful not to startle her. "Donna, you're okay."

She turned her head towards the sound and slowly opened her eyes.

"Dick…?"

"Hi." He couldn't stop a smile from spreading across his face. "Welcome back."

She tried to sit up but it only caused her to hiss in pain before she fell back down on her pillow with a breathless profanity escaping her lips. Dick immediately reached to the control panel and adjusted the bed, so now they were on the same eye level.

"How are you feeling?" he asked then mentally cringed. Stupid question.

"Like I've been struck by a lightning." she answered bitterly and they both chuckled. For a single moment it felt like it used to be. But as she held his gaze her smile slowly faltered and she turned her head away. Things left unsaid between them were becoming too heavy and Dick started to realize it might be too late. Nothing will ever be the same between them.

"I'm sorry." He said, knowing very well nothing he says will ever be enough. Slowly he released her hand from his grip and got up to leave when Donna's fingers wrapped around his wrist.

"Stop." she muttered, her eyes boring into him. "Stop saying that."

Dick froze and stared at her with blank expression on his face. She pulled at his hand, urging him to come closer and he complied, sitting back in his chair.

"I'm the one who owes you an apology."

That wasn't what he had expected. He was prepared for another argument. For the look of anger and distrust in her eyes. Instead he found remorse in there. And guilt, so deep and heavy it was nearly matching his own. 

"To clarify, I'm still angry." she started, looking down at her hands. "You fucked up and you know it, I don't need to remind you."

Dick looked down as well, ashamed.

"No, you don't."

"But… I fucked up too." she admitted after a moment and he lifted his gaze back at her, finding her staring at him. "I realized I was a hypocrite. We all are, but I'm the worst. And it took a smartass rebellious teenager to knock some sense into me."

Donna laughed bitterly, shaking her head and it took Dick a moment to understand she was talking about…

"Rachel?" 

Donna nodded in confirmation.

"Gotta give it to her, she's smart." she said, a hint of amusement coloring her tone. "Used me as a window to get away from this mess and ditched me the moment she had the chance."

Dick couldn't help but chuckle. He knew a thing or two about that.

"But, before she left, she said something that had been stuck in my head ever since."

Donna took a deep breath and let out a heavy sigh, followed by a small hiss of pain. She gritted her teeth, took a second to collect herself and continued.

"She made me realize I was a part of it too. We all were. Maybe it was your plan, but we didn't do anything to stop you. Hell, we even encouraged it. And then, when everything went to hell, we bailed. Washed our hands, dropped everything on your shoulders and ran away, like fucking cowards."

"But you were right." he argued. "I brought Jericho into this. I sought him out, put a target on his back. I got him killed."

"And I got Garth killed."

"What?"

Her confession left him dumbfounded and confused. It didn't make sense. 

"Donna, what are you talking about?"

"I lied to you." she breathed out, closing her eyes briefly. "I lied when I said Jillian made me go back to Themyscira that day. She didn't. I asked for it."

"Why?"

"Because I got scared of what I felt for Garth and I wanted to run away from it."

"Donna…" he sighed, squeezing her hand. He wanted to comfort her, make it go away, but he was out of ideas.

"Don't." she shook her head. "Please, let me finish. The truth is I lied to you, I have betrayed your trust long before you did and I continued to do so even when things escalated. Garth was never supposed to die. That bullet was meant for Jillian, but he shielded her. Jillian was the target, not him."

Dick stared down at her in disbelief, conflicting emotions running through him.

"How do you know?"

"She showed me a footage. A proof. But things were already in the motion, Jericho was with us and I was so blinded by revenge that I kept my mouth shut. Slade must have found out because he came to finish the job, then lured me in, sending a message from Jillian's phone. I stupidly thought I could take on him alone and it almost got me killed. And… you know what happened later."

This… changed things. He couldn't help but wonder how everything could've gone differently if only either him or Donna said something earlier.

"So what are you saying?" he asked finally. "That I should blame you instead? Because I would never do that."

She let out a bitter laugh.

"See, that's why you're better than me. I've started a chain of events that ultimately resulted in death of three people and you still see me as a saint. I'm not saying you're innocent. But some of my actions contributed to some of your actions. If I left without telling you, you wouldn't have told Garth and he wouldn't have tried to stop me. If I hadn't tried to run away, we wouldn't be at that airport in the first place. Using Jericho was your plan but you decided to make it right and come clean to him. Do things his way. But I almost got killed and you snapped, taking it as another personal attack. And you would never go to that church that night if I hadn't fallen into a trap. But I have, because I wanted revenge for something that was an accident. And Garth's death has been for nothing because Jillian died anyway."

Her voice cracked and her eyes filled with tears. It was evident she was in pain, not just physical and a surge of protectiveness overwhelmed him.

"Donna, I think you should get some rest." he said slowly and reached to the control panel to adjust the bed again.

"No." she stopped him. "No, you need to know..."

He pressed his palm to her cheek gently, trying to calm her down.

"We'll talk more when you get better. I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm sorry." she choked out, a sob escaping her lips. "I had no right to act the way I did. We kept lying and hiding things from each other for so long that it blew up in our faces, but unlike you I decided to ignore my mistakes. Act like they never happened instead of trying to fix them. And even after I finally faced the truth I still acted like an asshole and left you to rot. You needed me and I couldn't make myself care. Kept telling myself it's not my problem. I'm so sorry…"

She was outright sobbing right now, tears streaming down her face in cascades. Dick moved to sit on the edge of the bed and gathered her in his arms, pulling her close to his chest. Donna grabbed at him desperately, shaking all over.

"Shh, Donna, it's okay." he whispered and pressed a kiss to the side of her head. "It's alright. You know I don't hate you, right?"

"You should…" she sobbed into his shoulder.

"But I don't. There's nothing in this world that could make me hate you. We both made mistakes and I guess we both payed for them. There's nothing we can do to change it, only move forward and make sure to never do that again. And I hope you don't hate me either, because I was kinda worried that I've lost you forever."

He said that in a lighter tone, but fear crept behind his words. He could never imagine his life without Donna Troy in it.

Donna chuckled and leaned away, wiping at her eyes.

"Don't worry, Boy Wonder." she said, smiling softly. "Guess I love you too much, no matter how stupid you are sometimes."

Dick smiled as well and pulled her closer, this time kissing her forehead.

"I love you, too." he murmured into her hair before pulling away. "And please, don't let yourself get electrocuted again."

She raised her eyebrows at him and punched him right in the middle of his chest, but since she was hurt and tired, it wasn't more than a pat.

"As long as you don't get yourself locked in prison again. Seriously, Dick. What the fuck?"

"That is a conversation for another day." he said and got up to readjust the bed. "You need to rest."

He tucked the covers around her and checked the monitors. Everything seemed to be okay, all she needed was good night's sleep.

"Fine." she sighed in defeat. "But don't think I'm gonna forget about that."

"Of course, why would you?"

He leaned down again to give her one last kiss goodnight. He pressed his lips to her forehead and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. She was here, battered and bruised but okay. No need to worry.

"Goodnight, Donna."

"'Night, Dicky."

He quietly closed the door behind him and left the room. He felt tired, but his job was far from done. So he took a deep breath and slowly made his way to Rachel's room.

  
  


***

**_It's so excruciating to see you low_ **

**_Just wanna lift you up and not let you go_ **

**_This ultraviolet morning light below_ **

**_Tells me this love is worth the fight, oh_ **

**_I lived like an island, punished you with silence_ **

**_Went off like sirens, just crying_ **

**_Why'd I have to break what I love so much?_ **

**_It's on your face, don't walk away, I need to say_ **

***

The door was left cracked open but he knocked anyway. He had no intention of scaring her. He heard a soft 'come in' and slowly stepped inside. The lights were out but Rachel wasn't sleeping. She was sitting by the window, knees pulled to her chest. Dick looked around. The last time he was here was right before he left. He had wiped the crosses clean and got rid of that broken mirror. Not that it really mattered. She was already gone by then.

He had pushed her away. Focused so much on Deathstroke and his past drama that he became unreachable and it drove her to leave. It felt like a punch in the gut when she said she was leaving with Donna. It was unexpected, like a bucket of ice cold water dumped on his head. But in all honesty, he didn't blame her. He totally deserved to find himself on the other side of the equation, this time being the one left behind. He got to experience first hand what it was like for her every time he tried to run away. And it made him hate himself for it even more.

He returned his gaze to her and found her looking at him. Just now he noticed tears falling down her face, the city glow from behind the window reflecting on her wet cheeks. It was excruciating to see her this way. If he could, he'd make sure she will never have to cry again. Unfortunately, more times than not, he was the reason behind her tears.

"Rachel…" He whispered and stepped closer, but the moment she heard her name she jumped to her feet and ran across the room, collapsing into his arms. He pulled her close when she buried her face under his chin and his heart clenched in his chest when he felt her shaking against him. A broken, heart wrenching whail escaped her and she crumbled down, sobbing uncontrollably. Feeling a lump rising in his throat Dick squeezed her tighter, rubbing her back and running his fingers through her hair.

"Oh, honey…" he murmured, slowly guiding her to sit down on the bed. He kept his arms around her, letting her lean on him. She held onto him for dear life, clenching the material of his t-shirt in her fists. "Shh, it's okay. I'm here."

He started rocking her back and forth slowly, hoping to calm her down. It had worked before, whenever she had a nightmare.

"I'm sorry." she sobbed, curling closer into him. Each sound she made, each shiver that went through her body felt like a cold dagger piercing his heart. 

"For what?" he asked, pressing his cheek to the crown of her head. "There's literally nothing you need to apologize for."

"I left you." she argued as she pulled back and started wiping away her tears. But they were still coming and when she looked at him, her eyes were still wet. "You needed us, needed _me_ and I left. After everything you've done for me. You made one mistake - _one_ \- that was only meant to protect us and I ran away. I'm sorry."

"No, stop." he begged, taking her face in his hands and cupping her cheeks. "You had every right to do it. I screwed up, I shouldn't have kept things from you."

"But it wasn't fair. I thought I was angry. I thought I should be angry. But then…" Her lower lip trembled and she took a shuddering breath to calm herself down. "Then I had a dream. A horrible dream where Deathstroke killed you, right in front of me. And I was so, so scared. I… thought I was gonna lose you. And then we couldn't find you, and no one wanted to help me… and-"

"Hey, shhh…" he whispered, brushing away a new wave of tears and leaned in to press a soft kiss to her forehead. Then he hugged her again, holding her as tight as he could. "It's alright. I'm here, it's over now."

He shifted her so he could cradle her on his lap and Rachel instantly snuggled into his side, hiding her face in the crook of his neck. He stayed there, slowly rocking her in his arms, for what felt like hours. Once her sobs died down, he dropped another kiss to her temple and whispered.

"I'm sorry, too."

Rachel lifted her head slowly and peered at him from under her long, wet eyelashes. She stayed silent, so he took it as a permission to continue.

"I was supposed to take care of you. But first I focused too much on training, trying to make you, all of you, something the old team couldn't be. Then Slade came back and I completely lost touch with you. You were going through so much and I didn't notice. Worse, I made you think that your needs weren't important, that you couldn't come and talk to me about it. You're my responsibility and I pushed you away. I screwed up, again. And I honestly don't blame you for leaving. I completely deserved that."

"Still, I shouldn't have done that." she said after a moment. "Maybe if I stayed, you wouldn't have ended up in prison."

"Or, maybe if you stayed, you would've been taken by CADMUS as well." he pointed out, taking her hand in his and lacing their fingers together. "And I don't even want to _think_ what would have happened then."

Rachel looked down at their hands and started tracing one of his old scars with her finger. A soft smile appeared on her lips as she did so, probably remembering a story he told her once, about how he got it. It was a stupid one, he wasn't very proud of it. He was sixteen. Got cocky on patrol, started messing around with his weapon. Almost cut his finger off.

"You know…" she mumbled, still looking down. "Maybe we should finally stop apologising to each other and make sure we won't repeat the same mistakes again. Leave it behind and start over, what do you think?"

He smiled. It sounded suspiciously similar to what he had said to Donna not so long ago.

"I would love that." he nodded and squeezed her hand. Rachel leaned on him again and let out a sigh of relief.

"Yeah, me too. I promise I won't run away again."

"And I promise to take better care of you. You can always come to me, with anything, okay? Remember that."

"Okay."

They fell into a comfortable silence again and Dick closed his eyes. He loved this girl more than anything in the world. Before she entered his life it never even crossed his mind that it's possible to love someone so much. Yet here he was, feeling like he was holding his whole world in his arms. He will never do wrong by her again. He's gonna be better, do better. For her, for Donna, for Gar and Kory. For this family, _his_ family. Yes, they were broken. But the chance of mending them back together didn't feel so impossible anymore.

Rachel shifted against him, yawning.

"I'm so tired…"

He pressed his lips to her head again.

"You should get some sleep, Rach. It's late."

She hesitated for a moment, then raised her head and whispered.

"Will you stay with me tonight?"

"Of course I'll stay." he said with a smile, running his fingers through her hair. "C'mon baby, let's get you to bed."

He pulled them both under the covers and let her cuddle herself to his side. She laid her head on his chest and closed her eyes, letting his heartbeat lull her to sleep.

"Goodnight, Dick." she mumbled into his shirt, making him smile again.

"Goodnight, honey."

"Love you."

He could swear his heart skipped a beat. He froze for a moment, then leaned his head to drop yet another kiss on her hair.

"I love you, too, Rachel. So much."

***

**_Tell me that you're still mine_ **

**_Tell me that we'll be just fine_ **

**_Even when I lose my mind_ **

**_I need to say_ **

**_Tell me that it's not my fault_ **

**_Tell me that I'm all you want_ **

**_Even when I break your heart_ **

**_Hey_ **

**_It's all me, in my head_ **

**_I'm the one who burned us down_ **

**_But it's not what I meant_ **

**_I'm sorry that I hurt you_ **

**_I don't wanna do, I don't wanna do this to you_ **

**_I don't wanna lose, I don't wanna lose this with you_ **

**_I need to say, hey_ **

**_It's all me, just don't go_ **

**_Meet me in the afterglow_ **

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it. Kudos and comments as always appreciated. Make sure to check out my other fics. See you soon!


End file.
